CRAVING (The Elite Book 2) Read online

  He probably won’t answer. He usually doesn’t. In fact, I get the distinct impression he finds my questions annoying.

  “You’re an inquisitive one, aren’t you?” he replies.

  We’re spooning and anyone looking at us would think we’re just your average couple staying in a haunted mansion for the weekend. If normal couples actually do that.

  Twisting in his arms, I turn so that I can look at him, trying to gage his facial expression. He’s impossible to read and I guess it’s because he’s had an unlimited amount of time to train that look, the one he doesn’t want me to see past.

  “I don’t understand,” I tell him nervously. “I don’t like not knowing.”

  With a sigh, he meets my eye, his fingers reaching for a strand of my hair, tucking it behind my ear.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything,” I gush the word out before I can stop myself.

  “Everything will get you killed, Farah.”

  We’ve had this conversation before or one similar to it. He’s already explained why I shouldn’t ask the questions that I ask, why he won’t answer them. I should let it go, especially if I value my own life so damn much.

  But I can’t.

  I can’t wrap my head around all this new information especially when there are so many blanks and gaps in my knowledge. It’s not enough to just know what he is.

  I want to know why and how. I want to know who changed him, when he changed. I want to know what humanity looked like on Everette.

  “You’re going to kill me anyway,” I mutter.

  He doesn’t deny it. Why would he? He told me as much when we first met.

  “Not today I’m not.”

  It’s the same answer he always gives, neither one of us willing to put a date on it, my expiration date.

  Everette

  She doesn’t know what she’s asking for. If she did, she’d stop with all the damn questions.

  If I answer her, I have to kill her. If I kill her now, I don’t know if I even want to change her.

  Will I get bored?

  I’ve never stayed with another Vampire for more than a few months. What would make her any different? Especially when I no longer crave her blood.

  Lying here, staring at her, I try to rationalise it. I try to predict the future, which even for a Vampire is fucking impossible.

  Do I even want to keep her?

  I mean, I know I do now… but everything will be different if I change her. I’d be the sole reason for her existence and that’s a heavy burden to carry.

  I’m not sure that’s what I want.

  I like her human, fragile… For the first time, I regret biting her, regret meeting her.

  “I thought you wanted to live?” I ask exasperated.

  “Sure. But that’s not an option anymore, is it?”

  She’s right, of course. The first time I bit her, I decided her fate.

  “But you wanted to prolong your life…”

  “Yeah, I did,” she agrees. “I do.”

  “Then let’s talk about something else,” I say, doing my best to end the discussion.

  “When did you become a Vampire?”

  Another question I’m just going to have to refuse to answer or answer ambiguously.

  “A really long time ago, Farah.”

  “Do you miss being human?”

  “Not really,” I say honestly. “I don’t really remember it.”

  “You don’t remember anything?” she asks. Her interest growing, she leans closer.

  “I wasn’t human for long compared to how long I’ve been a Vampire. It’s almost irrelevant now, the same way you don’t recall every second of your life, years lose meaning.”

  “Because you’re just so damn ancient?”

  “Yeah, I’m that old,” I respond with a chuckle.

  She brushes a finger along my cheek and I catch the tip of it between my teeth, pretending to bite her, before kissing it softly.

  “When we’re like this, it’s easy to forget what you are.”

  “You probably shouldn’t do that,” I tell her.

  “Why not?”

  “It’s dangerous.”

  “You said you won’t kill me.”

  “Not now,” I agree, “but I will eventually.”

  “Do you usually fuck your meals?”

  “No,” I tell her the truth.

  “Then why?”

  “I don’t know. Does there have to be a reason?”

  “Probably not,” she says with a shrug of her shoulders.

  I don’t want to lie to her but nothing I say will be accurate. I don’t want to make what we have sound completely meaningless but equally I don’t want to make it out to be more than it is either. And perhaps more important than anything else, I actually don’t know what makes her different or where this is going.

  On one side, it’s just sex, great sex but just sex all the same. Nothing more. It’s not some great love or destined romance that will define me.

  I don’t need defining. I don’t need some great love to make my existence meaningful.

  But on the other hand, I don’t fuck around with humans and so there has to be a logical explanation for why I’m fucking her. There has to be a reason for why I’ve made concessions for her.

  I’m not ready to try and explain that to her though, not when I still haven’t wrapped my own head around it.

  I cup my hand behind her neck, pulling her towards me until our lips touch. It’s hasty and rushed, I’m hellbent on distracting her. I’ve had enough of all the damn questions and the thoughts those questions always seem to inspire.

  I’m using her body against her, using her lust to my advantage. Even if it’s only temporary, I know I can make her forget her questions. Hell, I could probably make her forget her own name if I tried hard enough.

  Her eyes flicker closed and I watch as all her concerns vanish from her expression, giving way to something else, something primitive and equally deadly.

  I run my hand up and down her back, delighting in the way she shivers at my touch, before pulling her closer until she’s straddling my lap. I allow myself to fall back on the bed, bringing her down with me, not once breaking the kiss.

  Her hands are on my chest. If I was human she’d be able to feel my heart beating but my heart stopped beating centuries ago so it remains silent.

  I could kiss her like this for hours, not once needing to stop for breath, never growing weary but she can’t so I pull away, flipping us over so she’s beneath me.

  Hovering above her, I watch as she gasps for air, her cheeks tinged red, she’s never seemed more human. Her heart is palpitating, her breath coming in short pants.

  When I enter her, she whispers my name in my ear breathily, wrapping her arms around my neck. I explore every part of her body I can reach with my hands, committing it to memory.

  No matter what I choose, I’ll lose this. Even if I keep her, all her little human reactions will be gone. All the little things that make this sex so damn good will vanish when her blood runs dry.

  Chapter Eleven

  Farah

  I wake with a start, a noise from somewhere in the house breaking into the quiet. Everette is gone, the bed beside me cold. Not that it would be warm if he were still here.

  I don’t know what to do.

  I don’t like being alone in this horrible house but equally, I really don’t want to go looking for him. And not just because I could get lost. I’m worried just what I might walk in on. He told me other Vampires might be here this weekend.

  Everette is the only Vampire I want to get to know. I don’t need to meet his friends.

  A door slams somewhere downstairs and I hesitantly sit up in the bed. Fumbling with the sheets that are pooling in my lap, I count to ten, silently hoping that Everette will come back so I can go back to sleep.

  If there are other Vampires in the house, there’s no way in hell I’m going to be able to sleep tonight. I
glance at my phone, checking the time. It’s late.

  ‘It’s okay,’ I tell myself mentally as I lie back down, turning on the bedside lamp. Having the room dimly lit makes me feel slightly safer but not by much.

  Everette

  “I wasn’t expecting you tonight,” I say irritably, standing in my living room in only a pair of joggers.

  “Were you sleeping?” she asks, her long spindly fingers brushing along my naked shoulder before running through my hair. “Your hair looks awfully dishevelled.”

  Her eyes glint with amusement. She knows I wasn’t asleep. I’m a Vampire. I don’t need to sleep at all. Sleep is usually something Vampires do out of boredom.

  I don’t bother answering the Mother’s question. It’s not like she requires an answer anyway.

  “I was thinking about staying at a hotel but you know how fussy I am,” she tells me as she steps away from me. “It’s been such a long time since I visited.”

  Her eyes wander around the room, taking in every detail. What she’s looking for I’m not sure.

  “You have a human in your bed.”

  It’s not a question. My jaw tightens. As much as I’m grateful to the Mother, I don’t trust her with Farah.

  “Don’t look so worried, dear. I can smell her on you.” She inhales deeply. “She smells divine.”

  “I was expecting to meet you in Edinburgh,” I say brusquely.

  “Not very hospitable, are you, Everette?”

  She’s smiling. Others would probably let their guards down but not me. I’ve seen that innocent smile used seconds before she massacres entire families.

  “I’d like to meet the human that has you so protective.”

  “She’s asleep.”

  There is a horrible tension in the air, neither of us blinking, neither willing to back down.

  “I wouldn’t be so sure of that, if I was you,” she says, inclining her head towards the ceiling. “However, I can wait until morning. We can have breakfast together.”

  The implication is clear. She’s not demanding that I allow her a taste of Farah’s blood. She’s reminding me that Farah’s blood is not mine to give. Farah, like every other human in the United Kingdom, every other human in the whole of Europe belongs to the Mother and if she wants to drink Farah’s blood for breakfast she will.

  If I’m lucky the implication is enough and she won’t follow through with her threat. The Mother isn’t usually cruel.

  “Are you planning to change her?”

  Although I might refuse to answer Farah’s questions, I can’t refuse the Mother’s.

  “I don’t know. Maybe. I think so.”

  “You don’t sound convinced.”

  She sits down, crossing her legs. She’s the epitome of elegance, dressed all in white.

  “Can you have Sybil bring me some blood?” she asks. “I’m absolutely parched. It’s been such a long day.”

  “Of course,” I say, pulling out my phone and sending my housekeeper a quick text message.

  “I’m sorry about Kirdem,” I tell her softly, sitting down opposite her.

  “I’m not. I’m furious. I want to know who the fuck did it and then I’m going to destroy them.”

  Her tone is clipped and emotionless, as if she’s running through the motions, doing what she must.

  “Do you have someone lined up to take his place?”

  “No,” she replies bluntly. “I killed everyone who thought they were in line.”

  I don’t get a chance to ask her why.

  “I imagined that they were probably the most likely to have killed him.”

  Her tone and the haunting look in her eyes are polar opposites.

  “He was mine to let live or kill if I pleased,” she continues. “Whoever took his life, betrayed me. Stole from me.”

  Her voice shakes slightly, her anger breaking through her icy tone.

  “I suppose I’ll find someone new,” she says with a shrug. “Perhaps change someone. New blood can be a good thing.”

  Her expression softens. She’s referring to me. She changed me when she needed a ruler for England that would end the civil war. The sixteen hundreds feel like a thousand years ago.

  Even once the wars were fought, there had been no end of work to be done. As a new Vampire I had worked diligently to prove myself to the Mother as I sought to put a new human king on the English throne.

  “Whatever you decide is best,” I say with a nod, “will surely work out.”

  There’s a knock at the door and I call out, “enter.”

  Sybil lets herself in, carrying a silver tray with two glasses of blood. With a bow, she places a glass on the side table next to the Mother’s armchair, not once daring to look at her.

  The Mother intimidates everyone; human and Vampire alike.

  “I wasn’t sure if you wanted anything, sir,” she whispers, placing the second glass on the coffee table for me.

  “Thank you, Sybil. That’s great.”

  I’m not thirsty at all, but want not, waste not. If Sybil is giving me her blood, I won’t waste it. That would be too ungrateful. I might feel entitled to it but I’m not a complete arsehole.

  She smiles at me once before excusing herself, closing the door behind her.

  We’re quiet for a fraction of a second before the Mother speaks again.

  “I just don’t understand why anyone would kill him.”

  “It could be anything or nothing. Too many things happen randomly in this world.”

  “I’m not so sure,” she responds. “I was fucking him. I think it was directed at me. I think they killed him to deliver a message.”

  “What sort of message?” I ask, leaning forward in my seat.

  She sips on the wine.

  “I like these glasses.” Her fingers brush along the crystal. “Did I buy them for you? They seem old.”

  “Yes. A gift. Shortly after you changed me.”

  “Some of the first crystal?”

  I nod my head, eager to return to our earlier conversation but unwilling to try and force it.

  “Kirdem loved crystal. Anything shiny, really.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “Em. You wouldn’t. Most didn’t.”

  “If you like her,” she says suddenly, “you shouldn’t let her age another moment.”

  “What does a moment matter?”

  “With each passing moment, death comes closer and with humans you never know when it will come.”

  I’m quiet, unsure how to respond.

  “Did you know the average human’s heart beats less than four billion times in their lifetime?”

  “No. I didn’t know that.”

  “No one is immortal,” she says tersely. “We just like to delude ourselves. Death will come for all of us in the end. And when it does, you’ll want to be able to say you didn’t waste one of her heartbeats, you didn’t waste a second of your time with her.”

  “I don’t know what I want,” I admit.

  “Stop thinking you have forever, then you’ll quickly work it out.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Farah

  “Have you slept at all?” he asks, his hand cupping my cheek.

  I don’t know how he can be so calm. It’s his fault, I didn’t sleep a wink.

  “It’s your fault.”

  “Mine? How?” He pulls back, surprised.

  “You weren’t here and then I heard a noise. And this house creeps the shit out of me.”

  The bastard actually laughs.

  “You could have come and found me.”

  “You told me there might be other Vampires in the house this weekend.”

  “There are,” he replies as if it’s completely irrelevant to our conversation. “I have someone I want you to meet.”

  “You want me to meet one of them?” I ask, horrified.

  Again, he laughs.

  “I sort of want you to meet my mother.”

  “Your mother? Isn’t she like… dead?�
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  I don’t know what to make of what he’s saying. It’s completely nonsensical.

  “My human mother is dead, yes. She has been for a long time,” he answers me. “I mean the woman who changed me.”

  “It was a woman?” I ask quietly, jealousy warring with my curiosity.

  “She’s kind of a big deal in the Vampire world.”

  “Right.”

  I don’t know why he’s telling me any of this.

  “She wants to meet you,” he explains, “and you want answers.”

  Answers… I’m not sure this is how I want to get them. I had been hoping he’d tell me himself.

  “So, you’re introducing me to your mother?”

  “The Mother,” he says with a nod of his head. “She sort of rules Europe.”

  “What do you mean sort of?”

  “Well, we give humans the illusion of power.”

  “Is that what it is?” I feel angry though I’m not sure why. “Is that what you do with me? Let me make decisions but really what I decide doesn’t matter.”

  My temper begins to rise. What he’s saying makes perfect sense. It matches everything else he’s ever said to me and yet it hurts.

  I’m probably just overtired, emotional from too little sleep.

  “That’s not what I meant,” Everette says.

  “Of course, it is. I’m just a meal aren’t I, Everette?”

  My gut twists as I wait for his response. I want him to tell me it isn’t true. I want him to tell me that he loves me, that what we have is special.

  But he doesn’t say anything.

  I can’t tell from the look on his face if he doesn’t know the answer or if his silence is his answer.

  “I’ll be down in a moment,” I tell him coolly. “I need to dress first.”

  His reaction, a small nod of his head, is so minute I almost miss it.

  Everette

  I don’t even know what just happened. Somehow, I managed to piss Farah off. I thought she wanted answers.

  If that’s how she reacts to the mere notion that Vampires rule the world, I can only imagine how she’s going to react to everything else.

  This world is nothing like she believes.

  I leave the room, pausing for a second in the doorway. I don’t like it when she’s angry with me. It bothers me more than I want it to.